Rough day

I normally wouldn't post this.. But i think i will this time.

First week of school is over.   Yay!

   Now for the rough day.
     I woke up today, and i don't know what it was.  But before i get carry on.. I had this horrible feeling all week that this was the week that it happened.  And so i went on this week, living just fine, putting on a smile for everyone, so they knew it would be okay.. Not once did i know that it was true.  Just that feeling..
Okay now that that's taken care of.. Now carrying on, so as i woke up, i woke up, and my phone wasn't where i put it at night, my ipod was on my desk, and it was in my bed with me last night.  So i just let it be, because all the people that text me know i sleep late.. So later on, i got this nasty feeling of, i need my phone.  like now, someone needs me.  And so i tear my bed apart. And find it.. And i get the text message i was dreading... This whole month in a half.   And right then i dropped.. I wasn't talking to any one today.. Besides the little bit i talked to my best-friend this morning.  Which if i didn't... I would have ended up lost today.. Not even knowing who to even talk to. So i update a status.. Tell her i wont be on... And she knew what had happened by my status.. That i didn't even needa tell her. She knew and i just had to tell her yes or no. ( I love it when that's all i have to do.)  And so i finally felt better enough to walk (had stop crying to where it was okay for me to leave) .. And so i go to the lake, so i can finish.  I get to the lake and it's fairly choppy, and i just listen to the waves crash up on the boat landing things, and watch.. and listen.. And i pick up a couple rocks, and throw them.. Just because my hands needed something to do, before i went insane. And so i found a couple rocks to skip, and usually i can skip in 12 times, but not today.. I was weak, and empty.  That with the waves coming in and the rock going out... It was the push and pull effect that had went on, and knowing that i skipped that rock 2 times that was pretty good.  And so with what had happened.. I can't let it be the push and pull... I need to let it go,  and be thankful for the times that i had with her.  Not the times i wont.  Not the things that will happen that she wont "see" because she's in heaven, she will see them!  So with all that, i just lost someone that i use to live with over summer, i was part of the family.. I was her "adopted" daughter.. But now that she's not here..  Things will be different things will change, but God will be there to back it up, and go the way that He wants them too!
Sorry that it's so scattered this was just for venting.. and letting things out, and letting people know. I'm still at a loss for words. But you know what it was a slow fade, and a happy ending.